Realities of Being a Change Agent

Source: Humans of New York

"I went home to my country after I graduated. I thought I was going to be a change agent. Things were so corrupt there, that you had to pay a bribe to even get a driver’s license. I set up community organizations. I thought if people had information, and knowledge, the culture would change. But nothing changed. It’s so hard to build a democracy in a country with no history of democracy. Nobody cared about changing the country. They only wanted to enrich themselves. ‘Everyone has to eat,’ they would say."

I am an avid visitor of the site Humans of New York, I follow them on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter just to make sure I don't miss the magic. A couple of days ago this picture appeared on all of my feeds and it has been haunting me ever since. I think particularly, this story the man tells us is a fear that we humanitarian optimistic have.

Here in Cambodia I am questioning myself every single day. Am I really making a difference? I believe in the work I do with all of my heart but what is going to happen when I leave in August? 

Almost every day I am reminded to go to different restaurants no more than three times a week, to spread the wealth, not to give beggars money because they will tell the others or because it won't help them once I leave. 

Being reminded that you are only a temporary fix in the larger scheme of things is disheartening. 

I suppose I am questioning when does my heart of being a change agent cross paths with the right resources to make it sustainable?

I'd like to think that my heart is a bit different than others my age. 
And today, I think it is a curse.